there was an english man a scotsman and an irish man and they were getting chaced by the nazis they seen a cat and dog
catchers van with three bags in it. They each jumped in a bag and the nazis found the van and the bags and the general said
whats in this bag and the englishman shouted woof the general pointed to the second bag and said whats in this bag the scotsman
shouted meow the general said wats in this one then and the irishman shouted potatoes.
A cop pulls an old lady over for going 22 miles per hour on
the freeway. The lady says to the cop "but the
said 22" The cop explains to her "that is the highway number"
He then looks in the backseat to see two
shaken old ladies
and asks what is the matter with them?
The lady tells him they just got off highway 109.
A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to
New York. And as she gave the agent her luggage, she made the remark, "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and
my red suitcase to London."
The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't do that."
"Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"
A man was running down the street faster than a car holding his private bits when he finally reached a toilet and when
he was doing a pee it went all over the man to the left and the man to the right of him and the man on the right sayed ''thats
weird you should get that seen to'' so the man took his advice and went to the doctors and the doctor looked at the mans bits
with a microscope and said ''thats weird ive seen nothing like it theres tiny holes all about it here go to this adress''
and the doctor wrote it down on paper and gave it to the man and the man said ''is this a specialist or something'' and the
doctor replyed ''no its a flute player he,ll show you how to hold it.
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet
paper. "Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"
he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's bottom. It's 1.50 pound per roll." He grabs another and
says, "This is nice and soft, strong but gentle, and it's 1.00 pound a roll." Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her,
"We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 pence per roll."
"Give me the No Name," she says.
She comes back
about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne."
. "Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap from anybody!"